Souryo to Majiwaru Shikiyoku no Yoru ni… – a porngraphic adult anime review

Souryo to Majiwaru Shikiyoku no Yoru ni…  – a porngraphic adult anime review

DFiI-9GVwAAmotxListen you fuckers. If you care about the plot of a hentai you fucked up.

Hentai doesn’t even have fucking plot, they are ‘scenarios’, ways in which you get to the fucking that is most interesting and erotic for the viewer.

Did I legit read a fucking review that was like ‘visualising yourself in the shoes of the lead character is a major part of the appeal of any sexualised anime’ and then like a retard THIS BITCH THINKS THE DUDE IS THE MAIN CHARACTER. How do you fuck SO BADLY.

HOW CAN ONE MAN BE SO FUCKING STUPID?

Don’t even get me started on the dumb cunt who thinks referring to the female MC as ‘Sex Object’ is the height of feminist critique. Who the fuck is objectifying her? Herself? She’s the fucking MC. She’s the self-insert character you dumb whore.

Like fuck, it’s your opinion but you’re wilful idiotic and childish desire to critique a show you don’t like using the only language you know despite how irrelevant it is.

This isn’t even a review of the show, just a roasting of the idiotic reviewers who are incapable of stepping out of them hollow self-centred view to see what this show is offering and to whom. Because it’s not an offering on the ‘good feminist show’ alter. It’s not a fucking male-aimed hentai. Those things are irrelevant but your fucking ability to review and criticise things is so narrowly along those lines.

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So the premise of this show is ‘Girl had a crush on a guy in high school, and at their reunion she finds out he’s become a priest. He then makes her become his bride’. So she gets taken advantage of by the guy she liked growing up (don’t even lie to me that that isn’t a Fantasy of Women). The entire show is based on how it can cater to fantasies. If you’re fucking mad that so many of those fantasies involve a man being so overtaken by lust for you he doesn’t know what to do, bitch you gonna be mad at a lot of fucking women.

10/10 solely as a spite score, I don’t give a fuck.

[This review was originally on MAL/MyAnimeList but whereas I view criticising other reviews on how they are wrong and don’t get an anime as a valid way to talk about the flaws and strengths of a show, they don’t. Probably as a way to combat bullying among a young user-base, so I understand and respect that. But ayyyyyyy, this review is staying here, and there’s a separate one on MAL. Give my MAL one a like: https://myanimelist.net/reviews.php?id=260042.%5D

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Fuzzy Lips (Furueru Kuchibiru) – a pornographic adult anime review

Fuzzy Lips (Furueru Kuchibiru) – a pornographic adult anime review

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Layer 7(This is a review of both Episode 0 and Episode 1 of Fuzzy Lips, although they are listed separately on MAL.)

Fuzzy Lips is utterly fantastic and I recommend it to everyone, especially other women. Hentai is full of quirks that… bother me particularly as a woman who likes men, but Fuzzy Lips is perfection. The male lead is cute, which we all know is something that hentai lacks, the dicks are great, and in my opinion the fetish material appeals greatly to women.

It’s my personal all-time favourite hentai OVA. Put out by Pashmina, animated by Studio 1st, the studio also responsible for Junjou Shoujo Et Cetera, Ane Kyun, Otome Hime and Mokkai Shiyo, and are one of the Layer 4best studio animating hentai. I rate it a 10 among hentai, and unironically rate it a 9 alongside other anime. I rate it higher than anime that are probably more objectively quality like Cardcaptor Sakura or Fate/Zero, but hear me out.

Objective ‘quality’ doesn’t interest me as much as it seems to interest other reviewers and critics of anime.

Layer 24The thing I look for is… longevity. Or more accurately ‘how much I think about an anime after watching it’. The reasons someone thinks about a show is entirely subjective, from story elements that appeal to you more than it would anyone else, or an unique art-style that you can’t get anywhere else.

Layer 21Do I just think about Fuzzy Lips so much because it’s just a perfect combination of fetishes I adore and can’t get effort of, with an art style that is everything I want in a hentai, along with the annexing all the little quirks of hentai that turn me off a show? Probably. God damn it’s so great. The leads are adorable, the art style is that perfect mix of adorable and mature, and the animation is stellar.

Layer 12The plot is simple, I won’t go on and on about how ‘but this has a plot!’ as if that means anything or makes a hentai better. A male teacher and a trouble maker school girl student are in a relationship. The girl has an abandonment issues that they overcome while sleeping together. Many of it’s sex scenes are school-based exhibitionist–fucking secretly in the school bathroom, on the roof, in the school yard, and in a Ferris wheel.

Layer 17Male teacher/female student is a great fetish dynamic, particularly one with a cute male character. That’s one of the little quirks of hentai that this avoids so wonderfully. Typically if there’s a male teacher, expect Fat Ugly Old Man Number 312. That meme, I’m sure you’ve seen it, is entirely accurate for a reason.

Layer 11Another one is in particular is what I like to call ‘shit dick’. Which yeah dicks are darker than the rest of the body but it’s like… why not just do the best of everyone. Imagine having the grossest more torn up roast beef vagina in a hentai. No thank you. Don’t make me suffer through shit dick! Which is just a lead in for me to say that the uncensored dicks in Fuzzy Lips are… appealing. I think it has some of the best blowjob scenes in hentai.

I unironically adore this fucking hentai so much I made a fucking AMV out of it. I wasted my time doing that and only grew to appreciate the animation, art style and designs more. Watch Fuzzy Lips, it’s fantastic.

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Iizuka Senpai x Blazer the Animation – a pornographic adult anime review

Iizuka Senpai x Blazer the Animation – a pornographic adult anime review

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DDgaqfXUIAAVepL (1)Never underestimate how enjoyable a simple story can be.

Iizuka Senpai x Blazer the Animation is as simple and sweet as possible. A girl who loves a boy shows off her new school uniform, complete with the eponymous blazer, to him. It’s the sweetest vanilla story with fucking under literal covers.

The animation is by T-Rex, a studio well known for great hentai animation. Even it’s simplistic characters designs are alluring. Over-designed characters are one of the overarching problems I have with anime as a whole, especially hentai. With hentai, the simple and classic character designs help with eroticizing characters as archetypes.

blazer 2The color and art design is extremely well done. Nipples in some hentai are a personal pet peeve of mine, and this hentai hits it on the head perfectly. The perfect mix of softness and… let’s say ‘pinchabilty’. The sort of wooden or chocolate aesthetic is very charming.

One downside is the length — a short one episode hentai coming in at just under sixteen minutes. Personally, I don’t find it to be that horrible of a thing, a much greater sin would be to prolong something with bad pacing and padding. Short and sweet things are one of life’s greatest joys.

 

After… The Animation – a pornographic adult anime review

After… The Animation – a pornographic adult anime review

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after 3After… The Animation is a high school drama between a group of friends where everything revolves around sex. So, somewhat like real high school I guess. A girl is in love with her brother, there’s two love triangles, and secrets abound. And someone fucks a teacher. It’s got all the teen high school drama tropes.

The animation quality veers into somewhat hilariously… awkward, notably in the first episode, but remains consistently serviceable during most of it, especially in sex scenes, so they knew where their efforts should be focused. The second episode is significantly better in both animation and direction.after 1

Aesthetically pleasing, with nice character designs, a nice colour palette, and uncensored, which is always a plus with hentai.

It’s Degrassi:  The Hentai, I think. I never watched Degrassi, but it’s the most generic high school drama I can think of. “What are you going to do after graduation” is the question, and the source of the title. The characters are trying to sort themselves out, along with all the dramas of their interpersonal relationships as graduation lingers.

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An example of a less than stellar frame from episode 1. Why is your face so HUUUUGE.

It’s vanilla, with no fetish scenes so enduring that you’d write home about them. There’s an outdoors scene I guess, a character who’s doing porn and apparently into ‘rape play’.

It’s a fairly generic hentai, although I did fine it enjoyable seeing characters in a teen drama actually fuck on screen. Step it up, Degrassi. If something average with fun generic teen school drama is up your valley, check it out.

MoMoKo – a pornographic adult anime review

MoMoKo – a pornographic adult anime review

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momoko2MoMoKo is a fantastic little love story, but I’m not sure if it’s sufficiently erotic. There’s a sort of music video and Hollywood film sexuality and lust to it, but that leads it away from showing the disgusting and lewd side of fucking–never a cock or a clit to be seen. It’s the same problem I had with Tenkousei, and I just as conflict here as I was there.

The difference between live action porn and “artistic” renditions of sex in Hollywood films is the vague nature. Hentai combines the two so perfectly and erotically–it’s one of it’s true and distinct strengths. MoMoKo is stuck in the Hollywood film version of sex. It uses really momoko4pointed and sensual imagery, the vivid light of entry is much more tasteful and subtle than the x-ray of anatomy of current hentai, and a very “music video” imaginary of a rushing waterfall for cumming, but I can’t shake the feeling that it lacks the needed filth of pornography.

Other than that, it’s fun and sexy, that sort of a lighthearted fantasy seduction that one would call love-making unironically, although it does have a rather out of place “rape as comedy” bit for a side character. It’s the story of a sweet aspiring actress who has no qualms about her sexuality, and thinks of herself as the Japanese Marilyn Monroe, as she attaches herself to and ends momoko3up falling in love with a salaryman. The animation and art design are pleasant and competent, but it’s age is definitely visible.

For me, it works as a romance with sex, but I’m not sure if it works as porn. I do highly recommend it though.

Offside Girl – a pornographic adult anime review

Offside Girl – a pornographic adult anime review

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offsideRemember those ‘motion comics’ they use to make? Where they take the frame of a comic and seemingly just edit it to make it appear animated? And it always looks… wrong? They’ve been made for Watchmen, Astonishing X-Men, and Iron Man — and in 2007 they made one for a hentai.

Except, not only does it carry all the flaws of the halfhearted animation of “motion comics”, they take the lacklustre production value of hentai and don’t even animated simple things like lips.

offside-2If you’ve ever been bothered or annoyed by Queen Bee animation standards, this is the next level of hell. It doesn’t even have a professional standards of colouring or line-art. This might as well be a cheap visual novel with some limited fake offside-3animation.

The story is relevantly fine, the music hilarious (reminds me of JRPG battle music in some places), and the fetishes are mild. Unless you jack off to jiggling tits with the Photoshop morph tool, skip this.

Rennyuu Tales The Animation – a pornographic adult manga review

Rennyuu Tales The Animation – a pornographic adult manga review

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ss2016-11-29at09-58-17Rennyuu Tales is “Super Visible Nipples” The Hentai Anime for some reason, and it’s strange. It takes all the worst anatomy and aesthetic choices of the manga it’s adapted from and amps it up ten fold and removes any of the softness. It’s a great example of taking everything bad from the source material while failing to capitalise on the good.

ss2016-11-29at09-59-44Most of all, it really shows the inferiority of nipples in hentai anime compared to hentai manga. All the sweetness is gone. The nipples are now hard and awkwardly well defined opposed to the softness of the manga. The same with the bodies in general. People like to shit on Queen Bee, but I’d much rather something by Queen Bee with decent character design than this.

ss2016-11-29at09-56-06The stories are fine, three short unrelated ss2016-11-29at10-01-18vanilla-ish stories with decent set ups. But they can’t overcome extremely awkward art design.

Whatever brief positive moments it has, it isn’t enoughto recommend it, to anyone.

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Quality.